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Terms of Endearment…..Are they really needed?

3 Oct

For some time now while shopping at home I have noticed a behavioral change in the clerks, tellers, or whatever the politically correct term is these days for the person taking your money at the cash register. Perhaps you have noted it too, but it has crept in so casually in Canada that you have not taken noticed. You are no longer addressed with “Thank you sir, please come again”, or “Here is your change and have a nice day”. Those are just small simple words, but effective, and polite.
So what am I leading up to? These days when I go to many retail outlets, I get from the cashiers more often than not, little quips like, “Will that be cash or credit … Dear, Darling, Honey, Sweetie, Sugar, Love, Baby, and a few more that escape me right now. Again maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think so. I do not consider myself antisocial in anyway. Matter of fact would like to think of myself something of a happy go lucky kind of guy.
I first noticed these little quips perhaps while travelling in the UK, many years ago, and they did not bother me as much then. Actually I think hearing them in the UK; I mostly attributed it to a cultural thing at the time. Perhaps I first heard them on TV, while listening to British programs growing up, so on my first visits there, I subconsciously, I suppose I expected it. It’s not really clear just when I first started to encounter them or really took notice, but now at home I do find them annoying.
I do not know these people. Certainly we are not enemies but neither are we bosom buddies. What happened to “Good day sir? Sir will that be cash or credit”? I am sure that the store managers are encouraging their cashiers to be polite and courteous but they do not need to invade my aural space so intensely.
At first when I started to hear it occasionally around home, it was not really a big deal. However now it seems to me it’s almost taking on epidemic proportions. It’s hard to go anywhere in the space of one day and NOT hear at least a dozen of these little words; usually several in the same transaction.
To me, when I hear it at the cash register in many ways, I feel it’s like being at a social party where that one annoying person who, when he talks to you insistently moves in closer and closer. That person who gets so much in your personal space that you feel, if you don’t back up he is likely going to exchange shoes with you. I’m sure you know the type.
I really don’t think it is because I am getting old and cranky, although I suppose reading this you might think it the case. At least I hope that is not the case.
I just think that in a commercial setting, clerks should be courteous but not invasive. They after all, are not going to be the person I invite to my son’s wedding.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that they don’t mean anything when using these terms of endearment; and maybe there is the crux of my problem. They are empty utterances which used in this context; only serve to reduce their intended meaning. If it’s true that familiarity breeds contempt, then perhaps over usage reduces their weight, for when they are uttered in true context.
We accuse teen agers of uttering the words “I love you” to their new found love of three weeks, of just using empty words. How can they understand what “Love Is”? Come on we have all heard it or perhaps thought it of our own children at one time or another.
Maybe the casualty of the over usage of empty endearment is that the meaning and the importance of those simple words lose out. Say it often enough and it becomes easier to say it the next time, whether we mean it or not.
Love and terms of endearment between people should be guarded and used appropriately for it to retain ALL of the significance that language has given it.
For words and language to have meaning they must be used appropriately. When someone says “LOVE or DEAR” it should bear all of the influence that was intended. Love is beautiful but it is also painful, it is funny and tragic, it is a powerful word, or at least it should be. When it is uttered it should mean more than “hey you”.

“Language exerts hidden powers, like the moon on the tides”
Rita Mae Brown

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When did we loose OUR Responsibility?

23 Oct

A few days ago I was out working with the assistance of my two sons. Having put in a full day replacing a rather large living room picture window I took the two of them to a local truck stop to get them something to eat on our way home.
Similar to many areas at this time of year the establishment was undergoing some changes, which required major roadside upgrade as well. After some missed turns due to regular entry road blocks, from the construction, we found the new entry point and made our way to a convenient parking spot.
As we negotiated the new entry, we noticed a group of people gathered around one individual on the ground in the middle of the road just a little further from where we entered. Of course, our attention was, focused on the gathering and we determined that somehow a motorcyclist had met with some demise. We could not see that any other vehicle seemed to be involved with the mishap, whatever it was.
Everything certainly seemed to be well in hand and no one seemed to be frantically running around trying to martial any kind of assistance. No official vehicles, of any kind was yet visible but with the calmness that seemed to prevail around the group we determined that everything was well in hand. So we continued on our trek to the restaurant section.
Once inside we could easily overhear the buzz between the restaurant servers. It seemed that some, woman, on a motorcycle had taken a fall upon exiting the parking lot. A local resident nurse happen to be in the restaurant at the time of the incident and she was on the scene to lend whatever services she could while they awaited the 911 response team.
Now what strikes me as a jurisdictional nonsense is that it appeared that the federal RCMP police station which was only literally maybe 1500 feet away and the fire station perhaps only another ¼ mile further with paramedics could not respond to the 911 call as the establishment rest on the very edge of the county line. As a result, the group needed to wait for the support resources located perhaps some eight to ten miles in the opposite direction.
Well naturally all three of us shook our heads in disgust and once again accepted the governmental jurisdictional disorganization and red tape nonsense. We three get into these, discussion quite often as you might guess. We completed our meal with a continued bantering on government issues and proceeded to return to our vehicle. Naturally, one of the boys needed to use the facilities before hitting the road so myself and my other son, continued to the truck to await his return.
He returned to the truck but not without further information from the traffic mishap. It seemed that while he was at the counter getting some desert chocolate bars for all of us, the police who had now been on the scene was finalizing his report inside. He was apparently issuing a citation to the manager as responsible agent for the motorcycle incident, which had occurred moments before as the lady was exiting his property on her motorcycle. She had lost control and caused herself an unpleasant incident. No medical details had been overheard.
It seems that the manager had failed to provide a “sign” to indicate that caution was required, due to uneven road surfaces. It was, pointed out that, there was a sign visible coming “into” the property but, no sign was provided for the exiting public.
Now I ask you, at what point does anyone looses their faculty so as to be unaware that the road exiting a property is likely to be any less bumpy or under construction than at the time that they entered only some short time prior. It is the same patch of ground that must be used to come in as it is to exit. There is no divisional barrier between entry and exit. Just one patch, of dirt, maybe fifty feet across services both vehicles entering and exiting the premises. The place is under construction people. The work did not get completed within the hour or two that this driver was on the property. That of course is assuming that they did not just get gas for their bike, but also purchased food as well.
Why, is it the manager’s responsibility, that this, women fell? Could it be that the motorbike, is perhaps too large for this particular women? Where is her responsibility to “see” or be aware that construction is ongoing and that perhaps she needed to handle her balancing act a little more precariously for the environment. She had to be aware of the construction when she drove in! Can it be that perhaps, she had been riding too long, and might have been too tired to manhandle the rather large bike, on the loose gravel? Nor is my irritation because I dislike motorbike; I used to drive one myself.
No, I suggest to you that a citation issued to management is nothing more than lawyer driven regulations which serves only to remove our individual responsibilities and allows it to be borne by anyone one but ourselves. The woman in this case, lost control of her bike, end of sentence. How experienced is she? Maybe she should not be driving one at all. Even if a sign, had been raised and whether visible from the exit or not, the outcome would have been the same. Why, are the police chastising the manager and the establishment? Don’t get me wrong. I am definitely not against the police officer. I respect their work and certainly do not envy their task. They can only enforce the law as it is written.
More and more no matter what the incident or the situations people no longer feel that they need to be responsible for their action. We always want to lay blame on someone else for not protecting us. It seems to me that people no longer feel the need to look out for their own safety and society is helping them to morally, absolve them.

Work practices

9 May

During our career’s lifetime how often do we perform tasks that we learned so long ago that we forget that it might have taken us a long time to learn it. Now perhaps many years later, we do it in our sleep and forget many of the nuances of performing that task.
Some of the things that we may have learned might have been physical manipulation with our hands or our tools. Maybe it was how to hold your hands in a certain position. Maybe it’s, how to grasp a specific tool. Steps to best perform a task, safely and accurately. Maybe we forget much of the theory behind the task. Theory, that in the beginning we tortured or minds as to why we were having such difficulties. Things that in the beginning appeared almost impossible. Now that we know why, it seems second nature. When it does not work for us today, we instinctively shift the work, our grasp or simply adjust the tool or the method to compensate for the problem we are experiencing.
When we observe others, perhaps younger than ourselves, we forget that we too once upon a time had to be shown. Those that need help equally do not have to be younger for many have learned to do things on the go and perhaps somewhat adequately to get them by. We can find those as well who perform tasks with adroitness but do not understand why it works. They just know how to do it.
However with all that said the learning curve could be substantially reduced, if one understands the theory behind the task. One such task that I have encountered over the years is soldering. Therefore with hopes that those that wish a brief description of some of the theory behind soldering will Keep it Together-2 or download my article “Soldering” under my technical Category.

Misery or Bliss What Do You Emanate?

8 Jan

Every day we interact with people, well most of us anyway. In those interaction many emotions and opinions can be formed, and some without ever saying a word. A survey in Sept/2012 indicates that 60% of HR managers have formed an opinion on you positive or negative within the first 10 minutes and 18% of them indicated they have made an opinion in 5 minutes or less of meeting you.(1)
However first opinion is not only critical on job searches but what about new employees to your company? Their first opinion of YOU is just as critical to your well being as well as their success within the business.
Are you going to be one of the go to people when they need to understand something or are they going to determine that your just a mean old grouch who sits in that cubicle or office. That zone that needs to be avoided like the plague….However first opinions need not be a death sentence. Many first opinions have been proven wrong, certainly in my lifetime after working with individuals for a bit I have found them to be quite friendly and entertaining. See my most recent article……https://dl.dropbox.com/u/19327951/MiseryBlissWhatDoYouEmanate.pdf

(1) http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/survey-finds-most-employers-form-opinions-of-job-interviewees-within-10-minutes-170157216.html

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EVERGREEN WRITERS GROUP

a group of writers in the Halifax and Dartmouth area, Nova Scotia

Letters from Kate

Two people boldly going where everyone has gone before. www.yachtkate.com

Forum of One

Just a place to express my opinions or views

WPShout

Just a place to express my opinions or views

JG-Audio

Company Portfolio

Young Feller Fridays

" New Freestyle or Remix Every Week "

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

EVERGREEN WRITERS GROUP

a group of writers in the Halifax and Dartmouth area, Nova Scotia

Letters from Kate

Two people boldly going where everyone has gone before. www.yachtkate.com

Forum of One

Just a place to express my opinions or views

WPShout

Just a place to express my opinions or views

JG-Audio

Company Portfolio

Young Feller Fridays

" New Freestyle or Remix Every Week "

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

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